


don't go

by fyeahmaulsoka



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-23
Updated: 2020-05-23
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:54:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24343093
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fyeahmaulsoka/pseuds/fyeahmaulsoka
Summary: she smiles sadly at him and places her hands on either side of his face, bringing his eyes to look at her and her heart aches at the broken look he gives her. “i don’t want to go either, but i have too. to keep us both alive”
Relationships: Darth Maul/Ahsoka Tano
Comments: 6
Kudos: 44





	don't go

**Author's Note:**

> takes place a couple of years after the rise of the galactic empire. i'm not a fan of angst and i love happy endings (why couldn't we have one?!) but i had this idea for a while so i thought "why not?"
> 
> also i'm sorry for the hurt this will give you, it hurt me writing it. i might make a sequel where it will try and fix everyone's hearts if anyone wants too, just let me know if you want it :)

“ _No._ ”

She knew he would say that, she knew the moment she had her decision. But it still made her still, take a deep breath and speak again.

“Maul-”

“I said no, that’s it. End of discussion.” She was used to his hard voice so she didn’t flinch when he was that way with her right now, even though she was nervous, it was for a different reason.

“No it’s not.” She stressed, “I have to do this.”

“Do you seriously realise what your doing?” He sneers as he turns to her with a fury glare that could pierce through anyone, she has seen it many times now and it’s effect has numbed. “Your giving yourself up to...to _him_.”

She nods. “I know.”

“Then you know why you shouldn’t!” He yells but Ahsoka doesn’t flinch, she had heard his voice rise on different levels before as well. “You should know why this is bad!”

“Of course I do.” Her voice is quiet, just above a whisper because she knows. She knows why it’s bad, why she shouldn’t do it, why she shouldn’t give herself up. “But what choice do we have? He keeps coming after us Maul - after me. The longer I stay here the more danger you’ll be in.”

He lets out a dark chuckle. “You know more then anyone Ahsoka, on the danger that runs after me.”

“But this _is_ different.” She takes a step forward. They’re in his home, on his planet, the dark red sun shining through the windows though not blinding them; only adding the sense of dread that is coming to them. They’ve known this ever since the Republic fell, they knew they would be high targets for the Empire, but they strived through the chaos and survived; together. “This isn’t some other crime organisation, assassinations or bounty hunters. This...This is Vader...it’s Anakin…” 

At the start there was obvious distrust in them but what choice did they have? They had nothing, Sidious took everything away from them and left them fighting for their lives in his new Empire. They only had each other and have stayed together ever since, and so their trust was formed and their bond grew. None of them would have known just how close they would get to each other, how much they would worry when the other got hurt - how much they would mean to each other.

She walks to him slowly, the whole situation dragging her down. She holds his hands gently in hers and his face softens, it always does when they touch, especially when he didn’t wear gloves which in this moment, he didn’t. She remembers the first time they had held hands, running away from stormtroopers when he suddenly grabbed her and they made a run for it, even after they managed to get away he didn’t let go until she reminded him that he was still holding her hand. But ever since then they started to touch more, hands together or on a part of another's body; it surprised Ahsoka how quickly it took them to get used to each other's touch and relax within it.

“He won’t stop looking for me, you know that.” Maul’s gaze lowers to their hands, of course he knows. Many times he’s been there when Vader had tried to take her away, the former Sith still doesn’t know if it’s Vader or the man he used to be, Anakin Skywalker, that wanted Ahsoka. Or even Sidious. “A-And if he finds me with you then he’ll either kill you or take you with me to Sidious. I don’t want either of those things.”

Her thumbs brush over his skin, it’s soft and warm. Many times she had curled by his side and relaxing against his body, she couldn’t help it, being by him had made her feel safe, protected, cared for. Something she hadn’t felt since she left the Jedi Order, she craved it and Maul gave it to her with little hesitation.

He gripped her hands softly. “I don’t want you to go.” _You’ll get hurt. You’ll be alone. You won't be safe. I won’t be with you. I won’t be able to protect you._

She smiles sadly at him and places her hands on either side of his face, bringing his eyes to look at her and her heart aches at the broken look he gives her. “I don’t want to go either, but I _have_ too. To keep us both alive”

Just like with his hands her thumb caressed the skin and he leans into her touch, but it makes her heart ache even more. “Maul, I…” Oh Force here come the tears. “I care for you ok, I...I lo-”

“Don’t” His voice cracks and his eyes avoid her. “Don’t say it.” His lips tremble. “I don’t want to hear you say those words when your leaving me.”

She drops her smile, his words hitting her hard. But no, no she can’t leave without telling him. It would only hurt and her regret this decision more, maybe she’s selfish, but Maul deserves to know.

Her hands are a bit firmer as she makes him look at her once more, this time she doesn’t hesitate. “I love you Maul.”

He gasps, lets out a choked sob before the tears finally made their course down his cheek, Ahsoka felt her own tears run down her skin, She doesn’t wipe them away, she wants Maul to see her like this, let him know just how much he means to her and the length she’ll go through to protect him. He wouldn’t hesitate to do the same for her.

Her heart begins to break as his tears run down her cheek, how his hands come to grip them tightly, how his body leans forward just a bit so their foreheads are pressed together. The house is silent, only filled with their quiet sobs of despair. 

“I love you.” Maul sobs. “I love you so much. Ahsoka.”

She sniffles, he always told her how adorable it was when she did that. “Maul…”

“I love you. I love you. I love you.” He cradles her face as their eyes stare into each other. “I love you so fucking much.”

“Language.” She lets out a chuckle, still filled with tears. He does the same but quieter, it’s strange really how it should be the other way around, but life is full of surprises.

His hands come to her neck, his thumb brushing against the skin of her cheeks. She leans in of course, she always does with his touch. He brings her closer and she knows what’s happening, her eyes closed and immediately she feels his lips on hers. They’re soft and gentle, tongue brushing along her lips which she parts for him. A soft moan is muffled by his lips as their tongues danced, she can taste the salt of his tears mixing in, and she’s sure he can taste hers. Her hands coming down to the edge of his tunic near his neck and gripping the material, she can feel the heat radiating off his skin. 

They part but still keep close, eyes locking into each other as they regain their breath.

“Stay.” His voice is a little hoarse from his sobs. 

“You know I can’t.” She whispers, he kisses her again, quick but still soft.

“Tonight. Just for tonight, stay.” He pleads “Stay with me...please.”

She should refuse, say no, give another goodbye and be on her way. She shouldn’t second think this, she already made up her mind to leave after she would tell Maul.

But she betrays herself. “Ok.” She nods at him. “I’ll stay for tonight.”

He lets out a breath of relief and it only makes regret fill Ahsoka up even more. 

They stay like this for a while before Maul draws back, his hands leaving her neck and holding one of her hands. He steps back, allowing space between them and his eyes dig into her once more. They’re asking her a question, his body asking for permission. She knows what he wants, she knows what will happen if she follows. 

She steps towards him and with a single nod, follows him to his room. 

They had done it before many times, in anger, lust, heat cycles and drunk on wine. This was the first time they were feeling vulnerable but it didn’t stop them from being passionate and riding the night away moaning each other's names with quiet sobs, tender touches and soft kisses. Hardly anything was said at night as they already knew what was coming, they didn’t want to think of it and instead entered their own little world where everything was alright, where everything was fine and they would be together.

* * *

Ahsoka woke up early the next morning, she made herself to do so as if Maul was up first, it would be harder leaving. 

She leans up on her hands as she looks at the man beside her in his naked glory, the man who she was once enemies with, now was something more. She remembers how scared, nervous and distrustful she was when she first started working with Maul, and it was obvious he felt the same way about her. She remembers how they slowly came to trust each other, when they started to have their moments together which would become normal. She remembers the first time they had shared an intimate moment, and all the others they shared after.

She pressed a kiss to his cheek before getting up and dressed, she didn’t waste time for a shower, no time was at the essence right now; she couldn’t afford to waste more.

Making sure she had everything she needed she looked over at Maul once more, still in deep slumber. She walked to his side of the bed and sat on the edge, caressing his cheek like she did the night before, and just like that he leaned into her.

She could feel the tears already coming, a part of her was screaming at her to stay, to not leave him, to be selfish once again and never leave his side. But the other part was comforting her, knowing this was a tough choice but it needed to be done, she had to leave to keep them both safe.

“Never forget that I will always love you.” She kisses his forehead, lingering for a moment before standing up. She pulled an ornament from her pocket, a beautiful golden chain and pendant with a ruby gem in the middle. He had gotten it for her when it was her birthday earlier this year, she cherished it as inside there was an engraving.

_All that you are is all I ever need._

She leaves it on the little side table he keeps at his side of the bed, often stacked with books, little cups of alcohol which they happily drank and little notes of paper. Little things they had gathered for each other over the small years with each other.

She doesn’t look back at him as she walks out of the room, she doesn’t glance at the hallways or the objects in the rooms as she walks out of his house. If she did, the memories would be too much for her, they would have tried to make her stay even harder.

Ahsoka walks to the shuttle, sets her things down and starts it up. It hums as it lifts off the air, and if Maul had run out and yelled for her to come back, it would have fallen on her ears. 

It’s when she’s in hyperspace does she allow herself to breakdown, there was no one there to hear her loud sobs and screams of sorrow as she had to leave the only good thing she had in her life after the rise of the Galactic Empire. No there to put an arm around her shoulder, to tell her everything was going to be ok, to tell her it was going to be fixed.

All she had left now was the hope that Vader - Anakin - whoever he was, wouldn’t hurt her as much as he and Sidious already had. Hope that he wouldn’t find Maul, hope that he won’t kill her.

 _I’m already dead_ she bitterly tells herself, Maul was the only thing in the universe that made her feel alive, and now she had to leave him.

The last hope she thought of was his ability to forgive her.

_I’m sorry Maul, I’m so sorry. Please forgive me._

_I love you._


End file.
